Never Mine

Never mine

I held you once,

a small miracle

attached and expelled

from the most intimate 

part of me,

but you were never mine.

You dreamed beside

a yellow cat,

flailed your tiny arms

beside a warm mouth of 

purrr,

soft and unafraid

each.

You gave no cry

for attention,

small specks of dust

and wee clenched fist

held your interest,

and the clamor of activity around

absorbed your need.

As you grew 

a map unfolded behind

your green gaze

that passed me

and traveled away

into distant dreams.

There

you listened and spoke

with many voices 

before you learned your own.

There

time granted you grace

to fill up the space

your soul occupies.

I watched as you

accepted the miracle

of moon and stars,

made things happen

with your hands,

grasped truth,

were angered by deception,

knew love,

accepted failure

and discovered the strength

of determination.

I held you once,

a small miracle

attached and expelled

from the most intimate

part of me,

but, you were never really mine.

Still, wanting to touch some part of you

I reached out to grasp your hand

and through some trick of time and mind

you had become a man.